Sunday, April 18, 2010

Bills Bills Bills

Bills suck. The end.

Ok, so I'm sure everyone agrees. I haven't met many people that look forward to a new bill in the mail.

Today Pastor Matt Brown at Sandals Church spoke about the Holy Spirit and His role in the trinity. He said, "Trying to understand all of God is like trying to dump the entire ocean into a Dixie cup, it's not going to happen." This illustration is probably the best way I have ever heard anyone explain it.

We will be spending the next few weeks talking about the Holy Spirit on Sunday's and sadly I seem to know little about him. I understand that when I became a Christian that Jesus lives in me and the Holy Spirit guides me. He is my Counselor, Helper, I am to trust Him to lead me. As long as I can remember I have had a hard time trusting anyone. I can't seem to figure out where it stems from, but I don't. I have looked back at my life and seen some of the bad choices I have made, or investments I have put my effort into and there are several I would like to take back (not my husband and son, they are my JOY, and I would NEVER change anything about the two of them or my life with them). I can also remember a small bit of uneasiness telling me NOT to make those choices in the first place but I didn't listen. It was what I wanted at the time. Then reality sits in, and a hard decision has to be made to change/turn away from the mistakes that have been made. OR, I have to sacrifice something important to pay for what seemed important at the time. All that to say, I don't trust the Holy Spirit and I need to pray that He would help me trust Him. These next few months are going to be tough financially (and I had to add additional stress by raising money for a marathon... yikes!). The only thing that is going to keep me sane is the Holy Spirit, if I will let him. I feel stuck, burdened financially, and it pierces every other part of my life. Sometimes I wish I could compartmentalize like a dude (waffles vs. spaghetti). Then this wouldn't bother me so much. The reality is, it isn't going to go away any time soon, and I need to trust God, period.

So, if you could please pray for me to do just that. Trust that God will take care of me without doubt, without fear. That no matter what happens tomorrow, He is still there.

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