Saturday, May 30, 2009

My First Teeth

Ok, so a few days ago I took this picture of my cutie and you can see that his gums are pretty swollen. Those two bottom teeth really want to jump out and say hello to the world. My kid is such a ham, he is starting to enjoy taking pictures. I think he is still a little too young to really "pose," but he gets a good photo now and then.

He has been teething now for about 2 months. This process seems to really take a long time, and after my sister told me that her son Nolan started teething at 3 months and didn't actually sprout a tooth until 9 months I was a little bummed at how much misery the poor kid might be in for. However, since Nolan and Kellen have been opposites in every way, I had a little bit of hope that he'd shed a tooth a little earlier. Something to make all that drool that covers his entire shirt, his hands, face, the carpet, and sometimes anyone else that is holding him and everything else he is around (like his exersaucer).

Well, it finally happened. Last night I was putting him to bed and we were in the middle of our usual routine of oragel to help numb the pain before the fingers went to the mouth and I felt a little poke through. The bottom right tooth was finally poking through!! The left tooth hasn't made its way quite yet, but it is only a matter of time. Not sure if you can really see it in the photo or not, but you can kind of see the little gums in this picture, and he looks so darn cute. Before you know it, he is going to have a whole mouth full of teeth! Hopefully my next blog is not about the new found pains of breast feeding!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Sayonara, I choose him.

Alright so that count down has begun. There are only 7 days left of school until summer vacation. However, since I work part time at school (even though I have to do all the grades, and lesson plans... long story) I only work 3 more days; tomorrow, next Monday and next Thursday.

I officially submitted my letter of resignation today to my boss and the district office. I wasn't sure what the response would be. At first I assumed everyone would be angry because I waited until the end of the year to make a decision. Then I realized how tough of a choice it was and it made sense to really think it through before going with it. My principal was understanding, one of my co-workers told me I sucked, another one congratulated me, and the third said nothing.

I have been teaching PE for the last 4 years (with a salary). Prior to that I busted my butt to get into a teaching job, first long-term subbing and then I was a site sub and then finally did my student teaching before having to commute to Beaumont every day (90 miles round trip) just to have a job. Then a new school was being built, Lakeland Village Middle School. This was the only opportunity I would have to shorten my commute and open a new school. I interviewed at the job fair, and was hired for the '06-'07 school year. Three years, and 3 assistant principals later, I am saying good bye to the middle school hormones of ignorance, drama, drugs, alcohol, gangs, fights and peer pressure. Sadly, nothing new from when I was in school. The only difference is that my parents cared enough about me to inform me on the dangers of some of these activities and I knew to steer clear of them. Many of the parents at my school are the ones that introduce the students to some of these substances.

The students that I saw back in 2004 are now finishing their first year of college, or pursuing life in the real world with jobs and apartments. Others, are parents, working in Mexico, gang members or even worse, dead. Parents, because they were pressured to have sex before marriage or ignorant to the consequences of it. Some decided to drop out of school and go to Mexico or other places to get work. They have joined gangs just to be a part of a family and then have been killed by the same gangs. Some have died in car accidents; racing while drunk or driving without the proper education of a drivers license.

I am saying good bye to all of it for a time. Kellen deserves my love and attention. Not only because I care so deeply about him and his eventual existance as a functioning adult in our society, but also because I chose to have him, and I choose to raise him. I want him to have all the love and support he can possibly get from both Mom and Dad, because having more stuff doesn't mean we love him more.

For as long as I can remember I have been extremely independent. When I left for college, I knew that I needed to take care of myself. Unfortunately, I have never allowed God to take care of me the way he wants to. I have allowed him to be here with me, but I have constantly said to him, "I got this God you can take a break." This has caused me a life of fear and frustration with finances and trusting other people. And ultimately trusting God completely. Pastor Matt's sermon at church 2 weeks ago really hit me hard. At that point I was still wrestling with the thought of staying at home or working part time again next year. His sermon made me realize that I have not fully trusted God. I have told God, "Ok, if this happens then I will know that you want me to do this." For example, "God, if we get the loan modification, then I know you want me to stay home full time." All the while basing my trust in God on circumstances instead of full dependence on Christ. It has been hard to explain this to some people, they don't understand why I would depend on God instead of just working and knowing for sure that I will have more than enough money to take care of my family. I have never experienced the true freedom that Jesus offers when we depend FULLY on him. It is easy to say, but so difficult to live.

So now, here I am jumping into the arms of Christ. Finally ready to not be afraid anymore. Ready to let Him rule, completely, fully. To finally start living. I wonder what adventure he will bring along next...

Giggles from Mindie Gilliland on Vimeo.

Wouldn't you choose him too??

Sunday, May 24, 2009

My Family

Hello and welcome to my first post. I am not sure what I will use this for, other than to write about my life as a mommy and wife. I used to have a wordpress, but I can't remember how to log in and it seems as though this blogspot may be a little simpler to use. I am a first time mommy, my son was born on December 20, 2008. I have been married since June 14, 2003. I am not sure if there will be anyone interested in reading this blog or not; but I might as well start it just to do it. Why not right?

My laptop was in the shop because I dropped it on the floor and destroyed the screen, but Bestbuy fixed it so I am ready to roll.

I have decided to become a full time stay at home mom. This is somewhat of a scary thing for me, because even though I have claimed to trust Christ since I was 14 I have never given Him the opportunity to take care of me. I have always assumed that I could and should take care of myself. I have been afraid to let go and allow Him to steer. However, now that my income is no longer providing for my family, my husband will finally be allowed to be the full time bread winner and take care of us. This is scary because I have worked since I graduated from college and been in control and always had it all together. Now, I have zero control. I am sure God is saying, "FINALLY! Now let's get down to business." I am also excited to see what God has in store for my day with Kellen. What kind of adventures will we have, what will I be teaching him and doing with him to help him grow up to be a strong, happy little boy? The adventure is just beginning. And I can write about all of it right here.